The Hall Monitor (11/09/25)

It must have been a rainy Sunday, because this week’s lineup is pure cable-channel comfort food: Carry-On, Plane, and Play Dirty — three films that believe the laws of physics are negotiable if you love your family hard enough.

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Carry-On (2024)

Anyone up for a post-Pandemic Die Hard 2?

Dude, turn around! He’s right there!!!

Starring: Taron Egerton, Jason Bateman, Sofia Carson
Director: Jaume Collet-Serra
Where to Watch: Netflix

Synopsis:
A preternaturally huggable TSA agent finds himself blackmailed into helping a darkly mysterious passenger smuggle something deadly onto a Christmas Eve flight. Budget-friendly chaos ensues in the terminal, leading to an unexpected orgy of fun, foolishness, and audience forgiveness. One man is dedicated to killing anyone he has to; the other is dedicated to saving everyone he can.

Your conflict begins and ends there.

Highlights:

Taron Egerton brings his signature reluctant-Boy-Scout energy as a man caught between duty and disaster. At the same time, Jason Bateman chews the scenery as a cut-rate Hans Gruber who somehow still feels like a working guy having a tough day.

Don’t bother smirking, wagging your finger, and thinking:

“This is a little like a Die Hard movie, but not as good, but it’s also not baaaaaad…”

Carry-On is a love letter to contained-space thrillers. The tension is pulpy, but tangible. The cast understands their assignment, and they approach it with all the zeal they can muster. Whether or not it works for you will depend on your level of tolerance and goodwill. The story is fun, well-paced, and undemanding. Egerton projects empathy and decency even in the midst of chaos. Bateman is dry, sardonic, and controlled — as always — but infused with an adequate level of amoral menace.

Lowlights:

Imagine the airport thriller Die Hard 2 on a Spirit Airlines budget, with much of the plot resolved in post-production. However, it moves quickly, the tone remains buoyant, and the performances sell it.

Just make some popcorn, sit back, and enjoy the last two hours of your weekend.  

Verdict:

Pure cinematic junk food — but the good kind, where you realize halfway through the bag, you’re actually having a blast.

Hall Pass: GRANTED (It’s your move, Bateman…)

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Plane (2023)

PLANE!!!

Starring: Gerard Butler, Mike Colter, Daniella Pineda
Director: Jean-François Richet
Where to Watch: Starz, Amazon Prime, Apple TV

Synopsis:
When a commercial airline pilot crash-lands his flight in a war-torn region, he teams up with an accused murderer to save his passengers. The plot is implausible, the physics are offensive, but the stakes are human — and that’s the draw. Butler is a man with a checkered past and a heart of gold, which is ultimately the point.

Plane is a “Black-Hats-vs-White-Hats” affair almost all the way through.

Highlights:

Butler radiates his trademark everyman intensity and earns his stripes through sheer conviction. Liam Neeson invented Dad Actioners so that Gerard Butler could later rule them. The former hero of 300 is the Lacey Chabert of Dad-Hero cinema, and I am absolutely, entirely here for it. There are fun and imaginative action sequences, fleeting moments of both pathos and charm, and plenty of narrative payoff.

Plane might be — at least — on the podium for Greatest Dad Movie Ever.

Lowlights:

Gerry makes jumbo jets do things they can’t do and takes on a fully armed paramilitary militia without an ounce of experience — all for family. And if you’re the type to complain, you’re a soulless monster who’s never been loved before.

Verdict:

A big, silly, oddly heartfelt thriller that proves that at his best, Gerard Butler can out-punch logic itself. Can we just go ahead and make the “Gerry Butler Action Potboiler” an official genre?

Hall Pass: GRANTED (This! Is! SPARTA!!)

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Play Dirty (2025)

Marky Mark /= inner city James Bond

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Rosa Salazar, LaKeith Stanfield
Director: Shane Black
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime

Synopsis:
Based on Donald E. Westlake’s beloved Parker novels, this slick actioner follows a blue-collar fixer pulled into an international heist. But from the opening credits, Play Dirty “plays” more like Casino Royale after a Four Loko bender. Take everything you know about a Bond film and downsize it: the locales are more ordinary, the characters less grand, and the swagger just a bit more forced.

Highlights:
Wahlberg makes a sturdy lead, and Stanfield proves a sharp, grounding counterpoint. The ensemble might be the film’s strongest asset, carrying Play Dirty through on charisma and momentum. Shane Black — an OG action architect whose résumé includes Lethal Weapon (1987), Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005), and the glorious honor of being the first man ever killed by a Predator — directs with confident pacing and crisp visuals.

Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves without winking too hard, and the result is an efficient, occasionally even likable, throwback.

Lowlights:
Play Dirty wears its influences on its sleeves — which, unsurprisingly, are more Buffalo Jackson than Ralph Lauren Purple Label. Oh, everything’s cut right — it just doesn’t fit. For all his grit and determination, Wahlberg’s middle-class operator never quite finds his 007 gear. There’s plenty of action and banter, but for a film that gets a lot of visual and narrative mileage out of its title, Play Dirty feels more like it’s playing dress-up.

I liked the ride; I just wish it had tailored its own style instead of imitating someone else’s.

Verdict:
An enjoyable, fast-moving knockoff that hits the right action beats but never quite climbs to the necessary highs. Carry-On got away with imitation. Plane had Gerard Butler to keep it airborne. Play Dirty just lands like it copied someone else’s flight plan.

Nailed it.

Hall Pass: DENIED (Shane Black can stay)

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Three action thrillers, three flavors of nonsense — and every one of them goes down better with rain on the windows and snacks within reach.

It’s Deja Vu all over again.

PLANE!!!

I mean, it’s not…NOT fun…